HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHARMINE AND PEIEN AHMA:D
hohoho. the two birthday wishes. LOL.
i know i abit lag. haha. but course this few days really not in the mood.
even if you were to see me smiling and all:/
sian. i dunno what to post about.
and thanks guys:D
but i just cant help but emo luhh.
i mean. whenever i think of it.
i will start to gaze into space.
haii:/ i dunno what to do.
today was even worse. LOL.
i just felt so empty in my heart.
like there is something missing there.
then dunno what happened to suaku. haii.
she dun wan say also.
really hope she's okay luhh.
make us worry like siao:/
and ohh. today's lessons were a breeze.
i dunno why. lol.
music lesson was FUN(:
we did the star wars theme and all.
very funny. lmao.
and then came science. which was discussion and theory.
whtever. i am NOT in the mood.
then went je to eat with pauline, kc and irene:D
cuz we dont need to do the lantern thing mah.
so can go home early(:
lol. like finally. last week practically everyday 6plus reach home de.
then no time for homework and all. haii.
tmr having x-country training! wheee.
can wait. even if it means aching legs and hands all over again.
and tiring mind.
but still, at least it can keep me from those thoughts.
tht's torturing me. running can sooth all things i realise(:
lalala. and i cant wait. lol.
and tht darren tien ar!
tell me to update then nvr tag de. hmph. haha.
tht's why i forced him. LOL(x
i feel so down.
i feel so pekcek.
i feel so useless.
My heart pained for you. it hurts.
But i didnt do anything.
And only now did i realise.
what you really need.
i wanna walk this path down with you.
but i AINT sure.
i dunno what's wrong with me:/
i just sorta feel, CHANGED.
i am not the old me anymore
people say i think TOO much now.
and i know it too.
Deep in my heart, i can feel it.
trying to come out into the surface.
and everyday is just an example.
that i have to use that stupid grin to cover it ALL.
to hide what's hurting in me.
to not show that the glass in me is alrdy breaking.
i have reached my limit.
i'd rather be washed by tears,
then to look at you and feel everything coming back.
i dun want it to happen.
and it's not within my control.
so stop making me worried will ya?
you are the person undergoing the hurt but i hurt even more.
and why's that?
i guess i am too kind.
and then it comes the helplessness.
oh lord. i need someone...
i am tired.
♥
5:55 PM
Monday, January 21, 2008